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Helping Others

If someone you know has experienced sexual violence, including sexual assault, sexual harassment, dating violence, domestic violence, or stalking, here are some ways you can be supportive.

Helpful things to say

  • Thank you for telling me
  • How can I help?
  • What do you need to feel safe?

Things to do

  • Connect them to Confidential Resources 
  • Listen. Offer support and compassion. Be patient and try to avoid interrupting them.
  • Don’t ask for details about what happened or why
    • Let them guide the conversation, sharing what they want to.
    • Avoid questions that suggest blame. (ie. Why did you drink so much? Why did you go there? etc.)
  • If the person wants medical attention or to report
    • Offer to accompany them to the hospital, police station, campus security, etc.
    • A confidential CARE advocate can also provide support and advocacy.
  • Respect their privacy.
    • DO NOT tell others about what happened
    • DO NOT reveal any names or details 
    • NEVER confront the Alleged Perpetrator. This decreases safety and can compromise a future investigation
  • Take care of yourself: Supporting a survivor can be a very emotional and challenging experience. Pay attention to your needs — this could mean setting boundaries, spending time on activities you enjoy or talking to a friend or counselor if needed. CARE will also provide support to support person. 

For UCSC employees:

All UC employees: All UC employees who are not designated as confidential must inform the Title IX officer if they become aware that a student (undergraduate, graduate, or professional) has experienced sexual violence, sexual harassment, or other behavior prohibited by the university’s policy. This includes managers and supervisors, all faculty (including faculty advisors), all staff, athletic coaches and student employees. Responsible employees include both represented and non-represented employees.